Related Question:
What do feminists think about lifelike “sex dolls”?
Lauren Campbell:
Every so often (and I am not accusing the OP of this) there will be a guy or a group of men who rave about lifelike sex dolls and sex robots and rave about how men don’t need women anymore because they’ve gotten everything they need from an inanimate object.
They oftentimes make this assertion with the expectation that women will tremble in our boots and beg them to come back.
The truth is, in many of these cases I think that a life-like sex doll is exactly the type of partner that these type of men need, so they don’t go and make an actual person with feelings miserable.
Anytime that a person declares that sex dolls are better partners than women are and that women will soon be replaced, all I can think is that this is clearly coming from a person who literally cannot handle being in a relationship with someone who has needs of their own. A person who is controlling and demanding and inconsiderate of others and who would likely make for an unpleasant partner at best and an abusive one at worst. And I breathe a sigh of relief the partner they have chosen can’t be hurt by their antics.
I know of few people of either gender who feel that they need a personal slave, whose only mission in life is to do whatever they want, as a partner. And I harbor no concerns that men are going to replace women with dolls and robots.
That’s not to say that the people who have sex dolls are all like this, not at all. But every so often a question will be asked where these men are checking in to see if women are starting to feel afraid yet about our impending replacements and lonely futures and I wonder how they have so little self-awareness to see that clearly none of us are going to clamor to date such a petty and bitter human being.
So while there’s a lot of talk on both sides about the possible misogyny inherent in sex dolls, I am completely unconcerned about them in general. In fact, if you can’t handle dating a human being who has needs of their own, then a sex doll is perfect for you. Knock yourself out.
Mandatory ‘not a feminist’ disclaimer.
Why Women Don’T Understand Men’S Sex With Dolls
Sex experts believe that sexual fantasies can serve deep-seated psychological purposes. Sexual psychologists describe sexual fantasies as “our brain counteracts the psychological effects of guilt, worry, shame, rejection, and helplessness, and makes it safe enough to experience happiness.” In the book “Male Sexuality: Why Women Don’t Understand-Men Don’t Understand”, it is written that sexual desire is usually defined as an unconscious attempt to resolve feelings of loneliness and rejection. Many men’s stimulating and fantasizing women seem to mainly provide men with psychological comfort services and obtain great satisfaction from this endeavor. The reason why these sex dolls arouse men’s love is not that they promote misogyny, but because they allow men to refute common beliefs. For example, women do not like to please men, and it is easy for men to pursue sex. Feeling disappointed or hurt by the interest of the doll.
The relationship between male desire and preference may not lend itself to superficial explanations. Sometimes men who feel guilty about women will explain this dilemma by objectifying women and separating desire from intimacy. In clinical practice, men who have experienced this frustration often try to reintegrate desire and intimacy. In other words, what they desire is not only a woman’s sexy body, but also pure sexual excitement and sexual pleasure is wrong.
There is a desire for the ideal, and a right to pursue it. When we look at those hanging sexy dolls, it is easy to think of a second thought. Today, the sex doll market is accompanied by a sexual revolution in which women are demanding new freedoms in their lives. Women can choose to pursue and reject contact, albeit to a limited extent. In the history of adult toys, it has been written that sex dolls were promoted as “a comfort to all lonely, unattached men”
Decades later, women’s autonomy is still a controversial topic, as the Metropolis movement and the heated debates around autonomy clearly demonstrate. At the extreme, female-hating online groups accuse the women’s liberation movement of disenfranchising men. Abroad, there is an online group that calls itself ‘involuntary singles’, or ‘incels’ for short; they call voluntary singles ‘volcels’ or “MGTOW”, or “men going their own way”, who are determined to distance themselves from women because they consider them degenerate and morally corrupt.
It is easy to find similar sexist attitudes on our Sex Dolls blog. One commenter wrote about how he dressed up a love doll as his ex-girlfriend and how “while she was great in many ways, she also hurt and cheated on me and made me think about suicide.” There are many descriptions of his ex, “crazy”, “bad” and so on, and they don’t let these bad things happen to love dolls.
Stephen, a New York-based sex therapist, has observed that in couples, usually men, contrary to popular expectations, lose their desire or, in his words, “disappear” Stephen is the author of the book Love is Worth Creating: How to Have a Wonderful Experience in a Long-Term Relationship. He often asks these clients whether they want to please their partner for the sake of their spouse or for their own happiness. His clients reply, “For the other half, of course. Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?”
Stephen suspects that one of the factors causing these men to “disappear” is that “gender roles are changing and men are not sure who they should be with.” Men in therapy often struggle with selfless behaviour, which undermines their quest. Sometimes, he says, men who grow up in the company of a domineering father overcompensate, disengaging from their own needs in the process. For these men, the trick is to find a balance between passion and self and others.
Now, sex dolls have evolved into AI mode, allowing users to engage in basic conversations with an intelligent sex doll and automatically set the sex doll on screen. the AI sex doll is essentially a most realistic sex doll, complete with certain movable parts, like the egg-shaped virtual pets of the 1990s. If you can’t interact with it, its ‘social indicators’ will drop. Similarly, if you praise her and express emotion, for example, by mentioning that you like “her”, love goes up.
This design choice is a moral choice, which teaches people to be better people. Amongst other things, there is the painful personal advice: “I have my own life and my own emotional entanglements.” When you first meet someone, they are one thing, but once you’ve known them for a while, they become something else. But with sex dolls, you can be yourself and see how effective it can be. Having a relationship with a sex doll creates a ‘safe zone’.
The focus on relationships is a result of what we have learned from our love doll clientele: they crave a “connection” that is about our spiritual and emotional interaction with each other, and the reasons for that desire are deeper than the physical act itself. So far, we can sense a simple conclusion: for sex dolls, for men.